Are you more sociable in Spain?

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IreneD
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Are you more sociable in Spain?

Postby IreneD » Thu Aug 08, 2013 1:44 pm

We definitely are. In the last week, we've had 3 'social occasions' and have another one on Saturday. In the U.K. our social life revolved around our large family and - although I had my own friends - OH didn't really. I've always thought of him as a bit of a loner but I suppose being solely with me 24/7 has been something of an encouragement to 'mix' :lol:

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Re: Are you more sociable in Spain?

Postby Nimrod » Thu Aug 08, 2013 1:51 pm

Irene ,are these Spanish do's,British do's or a mix of the two?
Where we are the Spanish stick to their own no matter how you might want to be friendly.

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IreneD
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Re: Are you more sociable in Spain?

Postby IreneD » Thu Aug 08, 2013 2:14 pm

They are British 'do's' although the one on Saturday may be mixed. 'Our' Spanish are very friendly, I just wish my Spanish was coming along faster, I think I need an 'intercambio' person. A bunch of nice Spanish ladies knocked our door the other night and I think they were asking for help at the feria which is imminent but we couldn't understand so they gave up on us - with very friendly smiles, bless 'em. Ah well, I shall keep plugging on, I would like to be more involved in the village life as well as having really nice British friends.

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Re: Are you more sociable in Spain?

Postby Free at Last » Thu Aug 08, 2013 2:43 pm

Neither more sociable nor less than I was in the UK - which is to say, not very sociable at all! :lol: I loathe "do's" of any kind, always have and always will - I used to have to be forced to go to other children's birthday parties and was once found under a table at one, reading a book. When I got married, it was us and 2 witnesses at the registry office.

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IreneD
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Re: Are you more sociable in Spain?

Postby IreneD » Thu Aug 08, 2013 3:01 pm

I do know what you mean, FAL and I think both OH and myself have been surprised at how much we've enjoyed meeting new people. In the U.K. we actually shied away from 'do's' apart from family get-togethers. Maybe we just don't have enough to keep us occupied so socialising is filling a gap? (And fortunately with like-minded people) Time will tell, I suppose. Do you keep busy? We have been to our local pool quite a bit - just us two - and we go shopping a couple of times a week but otherwise we lead a very quiet life, unlike in the U.K. where we both had part-time jobs and lots going on with family.

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Re: Are you more sociable in Spain?

Postby Nimrod » Thu Aug 08, 2013 3:23 pm

It's the English bloke in the corner I'm akin to
Preferably if he's wearing a cardigan.

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Re: Are you more sociable in Spain?

Postby Free at Last » Thu Aug 08, 2013 3:28 pm

We go out shopping every single morning when we're at home, it's rare we don't see anybody to stop and have a chat with. I spend 3 afternoons a week out at the health club, and there always seems to be some job or other that needs doing on the house (except at this time of year when it's too hot to bother!). We go away for short holidays 3 or 4 times a year somewhere in Spain, plus I go back to the UK for a few days' visit twice a year (OH can only be persuaded to go back for weddings and funerals and isn't always very keen even then). Plus we go out for full days a couple of times a month. I go to our neighbourhood meetings, and a 13-year old Spanish girl comes round one afternoon a week for help with her English studies, during term time. The time seems to pass quite fast somehow.

We do see friends, but I prefer to do it in small numbers, 6 in a group (including us) is about the most I feel comfortable with. July and August are always busier for us than the rest of the year as we know a fair few people who come out to their holiday homes and always want to meet up, I am quite glad when September comes!

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Re: Are you more sociable in Spain?

Postby IreneD » Thu Aug 08, 2013 3:34 pm

Ah! I was starting to picture you as reclusive and clearly that isn't the case at all lol. Not that reclusive is a bad thing if people are happy with their own company. Sounds like you have a good mix of things to do and people to see :) We prefer small groups, too - I clam up in a big crowd :silent:

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Re: Are you more sociable in Spain?

Postby katy » Thu Aug 08, 2013 3:53 pm

I think it is more social in Spain, not just Spain though, anywhere expats congregate is the same. We have lived in a few expat areas around the globe and it is always the same. Mrs. Pushy mrs. bitchy, Mr. know it all, Thrown together in adversity metaphorically speaking :D You tend to see the same people at most "do's" and it's all very false. I would say we had fifty "friends" but about roughly 6 couples who I would rate real friends. Also most don't have families close to them or jobs to occupy them as most have retired. You find yourselves mixing with people who you wouldn't have passed the time of day with in the UK :mrgreen: The longer we were there the more selective we became. We aren't joined at the hip but we do enjoy each others company.

The Spanish don't socialise the same. They only have do's for Communions, christenings etc. We did have one neighbour who held open house...well garden :lol: Saturday evening and you couldn't get past without him shouting you in but it wouldn't be everyone together just people dropping in for tapas. One old Spanish couple used to give OH coffee and toast every morning when he passed on the dog walk.

Fairly social here though where we live. was invited to a few dinner parties when we moved in and I know I should reciprocate but can't bring myself to do it. I like to suss people out first :) :)

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Re: Are you more sociable in Spain?

Postby IreneD » Thu Aug 08, 2013 4:12 pm

It'll be interesting to see how we feel as time goes by. Years ago, when with my first husband, we lived in a small village in the U.K. - first time I'd lived in a 'community' and it wasn't a very nice experience - so much b!tchiness and falseness. It taught me to be very wary and I have my 'radar' turned up high........I'm sure you're right when you say that expats are 'thrown together' , Katy - don't know about the adversity bit but I see what you're saying. We all have a common bond - strangers in a strange land type thing and so far all I've found is kindness and support from the expats we've met, which is very much appreciated and welcomed. Plus we've had some very enjoyable times - so far!

As I say, it's a new experience for us and we are enjoying it although I do also like my quiet days - doing nowt today except learning Spanish (Babbel.com) and chatting here and there on-line :thumbup:

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Re: Are you more sociable in Spain?

Postby ajtg1952 » Thu Aug 08, 2013 6:42 pm

For whats it's worth I think Spain is much more sociable. When I worked in Scotland I was away from home most of the time so only got to the pub on a Friday. Weekends were taken up with fixing things and the occasional do.

Here I visit my local every night [922m] for a pint, two on a Friday, and sometimes a Wednesday, but never a Monday; the bar is closed. It is a Spanish bar and I suppose I am accepted as much as I will ever be, or as my Wife was in Scotland.

We have social gatherings almost every weekend in the summer and quite a few in the winter.

Yes, I enjoy social life here. It is so nice to arrange a BBQ for some date and know at least it won't be raining or cold.

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Re: Are you more sociable in Spain?

Postby BENIDORM » Thu Aug 08, 2013 9:45 pm

Well....We've always tried to be sociable wherever we have lived, but of course there are so many factors to be taken into consideration, and as many expats in Spain are retired then of course they may have more time to be sociable and probably have totally different attitudes about everything from when they were working.
It is good for most people to have friends and of course in a foreign country it's quite important , especially during the first year and most will initially find fellow countrymen/women who will befriend them...but..
That's were it can go wrong, we've had great helpful British friends, many more like family than friends, and then we've also had 'friends' who have tried to cheat and con us and some who actually have stolen from us, and others who just become really a 'Thorn in your Side', or jealous, possessive and spiteful.
So my advice is to take it slowly and build up relationships steadily and remember, Familiarity breeds Contempt,..... so that's dealt with the Brits !
Now when it comes to making good friends with local Spanish people then it can be quite an uphill struggle at first, and it's important to be always polite and show that you are willing to join in the local community and not be arrogant or too pushy, better to take your time, well that's what has worked for us.
I would say that now 80% of our good friends are Spanish, but we continue to meet really nice expats as well, only last week we had lunch with a couple at our home , from this forum, who turned out to be lovely people, and it's quite strange meeting someone who you have 'chatted' with on a forum and never actually met.. :wave: , but it turned out to be a very pleasant meeting !
Regards,
Gordon

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Re: Are you more sociable in Spain?

Postby ValL » Fri Aug 09, 2013 12:23 am

Simple answer no. I don't drive and my Spanish is not that good. I have tried to meet with people via the forums and by going to the local bars for breakfast, tapas and a few music nights a few funds raisers. Few seem to be interested in a single woman. I am not a join a club kind of person. In UK I was working so had work colleagues and outside work friends and was out for coffee, lunch, dancing or days out. With a dog here you can't go on buses nor many trains so getting away needs a good friend of which I have a few but they don't live near to me.

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Re: Are you more sociable in Spain?

Postby IreneD » Fri Aug 09, 2013 12:58 am

Mixed experiences then and good advice from Gordon - we will 'proceed with caution'. :)
Ajtg, yes it's great at this time of year not to have to change plans because of the weather.

ValL, I would be miserable in your position and would want to go back to the U.K. probably......you've made me think, actually (A rare phenomenon lol). I don't drive over here and I must start - I am very dependant on my OH for getting around. Is there any possibility you could learn to drive and then buy a car? Forgive me if that's out of the question for you........I only passed my driving test in my mid forties on my 5th attempt so I am not one of life's 'naturals' where driving is concerned but I am remembering the freedom it gave me in the U.K.

Do you go on facebook? I know a lot of people loathe the idea of facebook but it really is very useful, all the different groups - something for everyone, whatever your interests and I could be out every day if I wanted,there really are loads of opportunities to meet people via facebook. OK you'd have to be careful but if you're in my area, I could point you in the right direction. Sorry, you're only joining in replying to my original question and I am being bossy! Ignore me lol but I do hope you're OK and content with your life in Spain.

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Re: Are you more sociable in Spain?

Postby Lavanda » Fri Aug 09, 2013 7:02 am

I've always been sociable but several hours a day are given over to quiet things like reading or walking. There are very few ex-pats here. When we do meet up, in a wider group, we speak Spanish to each other as well as everyone else. It seemed a bit weird at first but it's the right thing to do and it leads to greater integration and even more socialising.

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Re: Are you more sociable in Spain?

Postby ValL » Fri Aug 09, 2013 8:13 am

IreneD wrote:.

ValL, I would be miserable in your position and would want to go back to the U.K. probably......you've made me think, actually (A rare phenomenon lol). I don't drive over here and I must start - I am very dependant on my OH for getting around. Is there any possibility you could learn to drive and then buy a car? Forgive me if that's out of the question for you........I only passed my driving test in my mid forties on my 5th attempt so I am not one of life's 'naturals' where driving is concerned but I am remembering the freedom it gave me in the U.K.

Do you go on facebook? I know a lot of people loathe the idea of facebook but it really is very useful, all the different groups - something for everyone, whatever your interests and I could be out every day if I wanted,there really are loads of opportunities to meet people via facebook. OK you'd have to be careful but if you're in my area, I could point you in the right direction. Sorry, you're only joining in replying to my original question and I am being bossy! Ignore me lol but I do hope you're OK and content with your life in Spain.
My late husbands car is still here and I have looked at the learning to drive here, I have a UK provisional which is no good here. My Spanish is not up to it, looking at classes again in Sept. Re the driving I found a school down Malaga way I think it was where you can do it in English but then I would have to rent there and get a lift with my dog there and back. I am on Facebook and on my local area pages. I am not miserable, quite content with my lot and do a lot of craft work. I do miss meeting with folk and company. My mind is turning to going back, I came to be with my man, we got married and in a few short years he died. I am not done with Spain yet though :-) Thanks or your kind words.

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Re: Are you more sociable in Spain?

Postby katy » Fri Aug 09, 2013 10:01 am

Lavanda wrote:I've always been sociable but several hours a day are given over to quiet things like reading or walking. .
I am the same, like my own space. If OH interrupts me I think FFS :lol: However, he has been in Iceland this week and I really wouldn't like to live alone for long. It's just the getting up in the morning alone and eating dinner alone in the evening. So, he has been missed but I shan't tell him :|

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Re: Are you more sociable in Spain?

Postby Nimrod » Fri Aug 09, 2013 10:24 am

katy wrote:
Lavanda wrote:I've always been sociable but several hours a day are given over to quiet things like reading or walking. .
I am the same, like my own space. If OH interrupts me I think FFS :lol: However, he has been in Iceland this week and I really wouldn't like to live alone for long. It's just the getting up in the morning alone and eating dinner alone in the evening. So, he has been missed but I shan't tell him :|
A week in Iceland is a long time,I buy my frozen chips and fish fingers and am in and out in 5 minutes.

And anyway,we thought you were a Lidl shopper?

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Re: Are you more sociable in Spain?

Postby IreneD » Fri Aug 09, 2013 1:25 pm

Nimrod wrote:
katy wrote:
Lavanda wrote:I've always been sociable but several hours a day are given over to quiet things like reading or walking. .
I am the same, like my own space. If OH interrupts me I think FFS :lol: However, he has been in Iceland this week and I really wouldn't like to live alone for long. It's just the getting up in the morning alone and eating dinner alone in the evening. So, he has been missed but I shan't tell him :|
A week in Iceland is a long time,I buy my frozen chips and fish fingers and am in and out in 5 minutes.

And anyway,we thought you were a Lidl shopper?
Nimrod, that made me laugh :D Katy and Lavanda I couldn't agree more - love time to myself. When I look back, I can't believe OH and Iived in such a small space together for over 3 years (the caravan). I still love the fact we can be in different rooms and not see each other for hours! He is in our little sitting room at the top of the house and I am stretched out on my bed with the fan blowing - bliss! Like you, Katy, FFS often comes into my head when he wants to talk to me :lol: but I know I'd miss him if he wasn't around.

ValL - sympathy on the death of your husband but I am pleased to hear you are doing OK in Spain. Good luck with your plans to improve your Spanish (isn't it hard!) and also with learning to drive - I'm sure you could find a driving school that would come to your house. :thumbup: I haven't yet broken it to OH that I am girding my loins to have another go at driving here. The one and only time I tried terrified us both :shock: I just kept scrabbling at the door for the gears

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Re: Are you more sociable in Spain?

Postby ladymuck » Fri Aug 09, 2013 1:34 pm

we found that many brits were shall we say a bit nuts :shock: , maybe we are nuts too but didnt know it.
now we are back here its very hard to make new friends as we find our thinking to be different
thank goodness.
we dont understand all the health and safety and not being able to say what you think, I find it all a bit brainwashed.
Will be coming back to spain asap :D wanna be my friend :wink:


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